The Pursuit of Happines...

Love Without Expecting…

We’ve all been there before, sitting and reflecting on the disappointment we’re feeling caused by a friend or family member who didn’t show up for us in the way we’d imagined. You know, the same way that we feel like we’re constantly showing up for them. Every birthday, we make sure to gift them with a representation of our love. Every event we’re showing up and joyfully celebrating the cause. We’re genuinely excited about their successes and encourage them more than ever through their failures. Every trial and tribulation they go through we’re there to offer support. We love their kids like our own. Their family is held in the same loving regard as ours. So how could they not reciprocate the same expressions!???

In this moment of dispiriting reflection, you declare that you’re going to start treating others in same manner that they treat you! They don’t call you? Fine, you just won’t call them! They don’t come to your events? Fine, you just won’t go to theirs! They don’t tell you Happy Birthday? Fine, you just won’t tell them! They don’t congratulate you? No biggie, you just won’t congratulate them! They don’t support you? Cool, you’ll stop offering yours! It’s that simple!

Or is it…?

It’s human nature to feel slighted by friends or family who fall short of your expectations. But should you allow your opinion of their shortcomings to alter the nature of your spirit and the very essence of who you are as a person? If so, then it poses a question to your authenticity, and in this moment, you have to sit and ask yourself…Am I loving conditionally or unconditionally? Your true spirit and essence doesn’t waiver and doesn’t express based on whether or not it has received or will receive. It’s also forgiving because it holds “love” at the core.

Personally, I use to allow what was given or not given to me by others, whether it was time, attention, material things, or verbal or physical expressions, determine the value or importance that I must hold in their lives. And in return, I allowed it to dictate what I was willing to offer or what I felt like they “deserved” from me. But I realized that loving and expressing love with expectations of reciprocation, not only adds disappointment to your life when not received, but it adds stress, conflict, confusion, and doubt, amongst many other undesired emotions. So, I made a choice to let go of the expectations that I allowed to control and define the relationships with the people in my life.

The moment I decided that I was going to continue to act, and love, and do, and live, irregardless of what I received in return, is the moment I felt that I truly discovered the power my spirit holds and the connection it has to essence. I feel lighter than I did before. I feel happier, I feel more loving, I feel more spiritual, I feel more connected, and I can honestly say that I hold no attachments to defining my value to anyone.

So continue to let love flow from your spirit and let your essence and aura be a light. That alone holds more power to positive change than your display of resentment ever could.

Total post: 4


Keisha Sanker
June 12, 2017 at 5:19 pm

I love this! I am going through this right now with a few friends in my life. I need this right now in this moment. I am refusing to let people change who I am based on what they dish out to me. Perfectly said!

June 12, 2017 at 5:41 pm

Omg.. I tell my friends and myself this all the time.. u can’t get mad if ppl aren’t like you.. so don’t try and change who u are because ppl dont show u what u show them in return… “im not going to do this for this person.. because they dont do this for me”.. like i say.. well hey.. its in ur nature to be the person u are and to do the things u do for ppl..if u dont get the same in return.. there is no point in being resentful.. like u said.. letting who U are
And how UR love flows speaks light.. and that alone holds more power to positive change.. this is such good advice! Love it

June 12, 2017 at 7:55 pm

Love this! So true! Keep loving & being true to yourself without expectations! Great blog Tanika! Thank you for sharing!❤️??

WJC sr
June 12, 2017 at 10:44 pm

Great piece T?

Jason Rudison
June 13, 2017 at 9:10 am

Word! Dope read Tanika!!!

Renee Conroy
June 14, 2017 at 4:38 pm

Good thoughts to ponder, but my actuality is….there comes a time in our life to “cut” your losses. Relationships and behaviors should be reciprocated, in my honest opinion…based on love, care, and sincerity. If you are always filling someone else’s cup…who’s going to replenish yours when you’re dry…..I believe that learning to love self, requires you to maintain your wholeness. Cutting out weeds, and other items that choke life from the living, can only overtake the beauty and make a beautiful scenario ugly…even when there are still parts of the beauty present. Love your inspiration for remain loving though…I’ve just set boundaries and aligned limits to by garden! RCC

    Tanika Latta
    June 14, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Thank you so much for your sentiments Renee 🙂 And you’re absolutely right, reciprocation should occur if the nature of the relationship is built on love, care, and sincerity. But the reality is, some people are takers instead of givers and the nature of their “being” isn’t fueled by spirit…instead, it’s motivated by “self”. The concept of “Loving without Expectations” is to keep your intentions pure without a premeditated outcome and to not allow others shortcomings affect your source. But sometimes, as you mentioned, boundaries need to be set and ties need to be cut in order to protect your cup. Love and appreciate your insight as always 🙂

June 21, 2017 at 4:27 am

I love it Tanika…. Life is more than just doing unto others as they do unto us….. Happiness is a choice and to me it’s the best choice of them all. Good job old friend keep shining ?

August 1, 2017 at 8:03 am

I love this! I’m going through this season and growing period at this moment! Thanks for the inspirational words!

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