We’ve all been there before…just sitting and reflecting on the disappointment we’re feeling caused by a friend, family member, or even a significant other, who didn’t show up for us in the way we’d imagined. You know, the same way that we feel like we’re constantly showing up for them. Every birthday, we make sure to gift them with a representation of our love. Every event, we’re showing up and joyfully celebrating the cause. We’re genuinely excited about their successes and encourage them more than ever through their failures. Every trial and tribulation they go through, we’re there to offer support. We love their kids like our own. Their family is held in the same loving regard as ours. So why is it not being reciprocated?
In this moment of dispiriting reflection, you declare that you’re going to start treating others in same manner that they treat you! They don’t call you? Fine, you just won’t call them! They don’t come to your events? Fine, you just won’t go to theirs! They don’t tell you Happy Birthday? Fine, you just won’t tell them! They don’t congratulate you? No biggie, you just won’t congratulate them! They don’t support you? Cool, you’ll stop offering yours! It’s that simple!
Or is it?
It’s human nature to feel slighted by people who fall short of our expectations. But, should you allow what you view as their shortcomings to alter the nature of your spirit? If so, are you loving conditionally or unconditionally?
Personally, I use to allow what was given or not given to me by others, whether it was time, attention, material things, or verbal/physical expressions, determine the value or importance that I must hold in their lives. And in return, I allowed it to dictate what I was willing to offer or what I felt like they “deserved” from me. But I realized that loving with the expectation that it would be returned in the exact same way, not only adds disappointment to your life, but it adds unnecessary stress, conflict, and it blunts your discernment. More importantly, it places the power of your happiness in the hands of others.
So, I made a choice to let go of the expectations that I allowed to control and define relationships with the people in my life…and to live, love, and do…unconditionally.
After doing so, I truly felt a shift in my spirit.
I felt lighter than I did before. Happier. More loving. Free to just be, without holding any attachments to defining my value to anyone. Truly, unbothered.
Because the truth is, everyone isn’t like you. Everyone doesn’t express in the same way, and what you may be regard as an “absence or lack of”, others may be completely unaware that they’ve unintentionally wronged you.
So continue to hold love at the core of your spirit, and let your essence and aura be a leading light. That holds much more power to positive change than a display of resentment ever could.